the joy of life is to appreciate...
maybe for today's post, i will dedicate a post
to none other than our debate trainer!!!
AMANDA!!!!
i just want to say a thank you to all the things that you have done
thanks for the consoling after our loss
thanks for all your wonderful teachings
and thanks for all the things that you have done for us...
you too have been the most helpful, sweetest person...
i doubt we could even have made it past the first round without you...
and yeah!!! the pain have past as you promised
seem like every debater will, as you said...
and everything's ok again:p
photos will be uploaded soon...
look forward to seeing you SOON!!!
the pain will pass, but the scars remain...
without those debate training,
there seem to be a missing crater in my life....
hmm, i really miss those days,
those times when we sit together and discuss together
although a week have even yet to pass...
i guess good things are never meant to last
everything just seem like a fairytale
started so amazingly, and ended so abruptly...
in life, i think
we win some and lose some
maybe i am a little too hard on myself...
at least i know i got a new sister:p
hope we keep in contact though!!!
a beautiful chapter reluctantly ended, and a dawn of something new
my speech, my script, my rebuttals
totally a fucked-up piece of shit
i screwed up, yeah!!!
how stupid of me...
totally embarrasing, totally bad
just utterly dumb!!!
what a big let-down!!!
i knew i could have....
nah, STOP IT!!!
I SUCK!!!
yeah!!!
like totally....
i am no longer what i was, i changed....
no one was by my side
when my whole life came crashing on me...
i was left all alone
and always thought it was a nightmare
when i woke up in the middle of the night
and yet,
i never really thought that i'd be left alone
house used to be a bubbly place,
and again it changed...
everything's drained
colours all gone
pure monotony....
i am so used to this quietness already
and so used to keeping everything within me
maybe i will die of combustion, someday
but again who cares...
everyone thinks i am
trying to be an emotional kid
trying to be an attention seeker
no one ever understand my turbulence
and the tears that i shed
and the fact is, i no longer care abt what u guys think
undeniably,
i changed...
p.s. ain't no one in the globe i 'd rather see
Memories are always meant to be beautiful
when all u ask for is something simple, it's in fact not that simple
if ever i were made to make a choice
i will choose no....
pessimism?
yeah, perhaps it is because of this very word after all...
ever wonder about the nightmares that this word can conjure?
ever question what it takes to rescue you from the depths of darkness?
and yet this very thing is etched in my very soul...
like a symbioses stuck to it's master
like a slave bound to it's chains....
when things are gone, they are gone...
i cant bear to leave...
the feeling of saying goodbye is always so bitter...
it always leave me in despair
and yet it's always beyond my control...
i don't wanna want this to happen again
in my route of self-realization, i have to let go of my emotions...life is a cycle, one of give and take
one to realize, the simplicity of everything
one to understand and accept
the equation is never balanced,
you must lose to take, and to take and lose
one which belong will always belong
one which don't never will
take what which belong and leave what which dosen't...
before hatred comes, try hard to love
before the problem arises, try to observe
in every observation yield a solution...
in every perfection, comes a loophole
in every belief comes a question
in every new day, comes a new problem
in every problem, try to let go
p.s everything is something abstract, simplicity is everything (devotion)
Trust is something impossible to ask forfor a moment, i thought i found a friend,
but only for that solitary moment, no more
i am flabbergasted, seriously,
but not due to this matter of trust
which have bewitched me for the whole of my wretched life
sometimes, i hope people are aware of my limitations
my momentary silence does not imply my ignorance
and yet this silence i maintained
is starting to become a Achilles heel for people to pounce on
just dun ever think i do not give a FRIGGIN' DAMN...
p.s
JACQUELINE!!! stay strong erh!!friends 4eva
p.s.s
if u cant grab hold of someone you love, then let go, dun ever think it is someone's fault...
if you did what you already done, why should u feel threatened!!!
